Trust them
How often, we have heard these words in action and in person, yet we fail to recognize and give them the regard, respect, and reverence they need!
At 15 the adolescent voice is seeking her/his own identity. In this adult world, everything they do is seen as just not right. Growing hair, nails, fancy clothing, odd shoe pairing, trousers snipped, scouting a earring on one/both, and many more interesting characteristics develop.
they are discovering what their inner urge seeks to do! if we look at it from their beautiful sight then we too will see what they see! the freedom, the liberation from rigidity, the luxury of being what you want in the most subtle way possible.
"The adolescent must never be treated as a child, for that is a stage of life that he has surpassed. It is better to treat an adolescent as if he had greater value than he actually shows! then as if he had less. Let him feel that his merits and self-respect are regarded."-Maria Montessori
A hindrance of any sort from the adult, causes a great ripple in their development and discovery of their own self, the rebel then born, can take a form no less than a chimera, you will regret- a cigar/beer/a whiff of something they don't know but relish for a high, a tease or two of their peers in the most devastating manner, and many more new negative traits can be seen as a tool against the adult who retracted them from their success!
Should we then allow them to grow at their own pace and to follow their soul and discover their own path or become the ever interfering adult who only makes life look meaningless and asserts their own adolescent regrets and rejections on the helpless 'adolescent'; The latter would be ideal!!
often heard loud is the adult's voice-"you have to take life more seriously", " stop behaving like a child", don't grow your hair like a girl, stop behaving like a boy," etc.
Did we ever ponder over our own follies, our unethical remarks, our irrational assertations & claims, all leading them to a road less traveled! they are unbiased, raw, and receiving, their moral values are high and their peer quotient is at its peak here? Thus any defamatory words from us will only provoke their peaceful self to rebel and do everything to harm the adult ego, resulting in pain and rejection in them.
This pandemic has indeed brought many of us who irrationally react to adolescent innocence, to a point of eternal damnation! A question of-' are we really helping the adolescents or are we creating more indecisive beings of morose demeanor'
Let us rethink our assertions, supersede our apprehensions and trust the adolescents, and hand over the mantel of responsibility and care-giving to them, let us appreciate their willingness to take the risk to manage life with their own understanding in tandem with the laws of nature!
I must share how I had the privilege to see what it is to be a parent of adolescents transitioning into young mature adults with sane thinking and a pragmatic perspective, who see problems as an opportunity to solve and progress.
With every passing day and time, a new phase arose in them and a new persona with so much depth in thinking and clarity in what they chose as their path, is what I witnessed and was only encompassed with the marvel of this beautiful chrysalis who is now ready to transcend to be the torch bearers of tomorrow and work towards the cosmic goal they have.
Ohh, adult! let us lay out the path for them to choose and be the arms of support and seek the peace of a well rounded 'Man the adolescent'.
Our good words and appreciation exceed all else to adolescents! they respect us in the same way and this trait resonates in their peers and all the people they meet.
'He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.'
“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” ― Aristotle
